She who controls the cookie controls the game..

There are cookies and there are cookie jars. Each jar is as strong and airtight as the owner and her resolution. A few cookies are whole and untouched, some are half-eaten while many others have been reduced to crumbs; mere, barely recognisable pieces of the cookies remain.

A jar is a jar, built to protect and restrict. A jar is always covered, mostly tightly, in accordance to its purpose. The jar is essentially a figment of the cookie owner’s strength and conviction. Some jars are opened and often left ajar by cookie eaters, in defeat of the cookie owner’s resolve and will. Some cookies are not even protected in the very least, they are served as desserts to all and every Bob.

I always appreciate owners who keep their half-eaten cookies jarred. At least, at some point, they have decided to think and act accordingly. Half-bread they say is better than puff-puff. In the very least, they will still have something to serve when the right Bob comes along at the right time. For having such courage, change of heart and strong will, I rate and respect them. It takes a strong owner to say NO after a couple of YES and to stop serving her cookie after experiencing the ecstasy and fantasy of service.

The most hilarious are those who store the crumbs that remain of their cookies in an airtight jar. Seriously?? It is not like there is anything left on offer after all. Why keep a cookie away when it is not even desirable? In this case it is even worse, because what is left is mere cookie crumbs, unrecognisable. Yet, they still have something to guard actually, which is a good thing. However late, they have realised their self-worth somewhere along the line they have resolved to hold off. They should still be able to gather enough crumbs to feed a Bob when the time is right, especially if you consider the concept of love. Better still, in this age of irrefutable technology, cookie crumbs can be successfully made whole (actually half-whole). However artificial, it will serve a good dessert if not an excellent one.

The most classless, clueless and worthless of owners are those without cookie jars. They start up with a whole cookie like everyone else but end up serving it all cluelessly and worthlessly. They inevitably end up with nothing to call theirs. Most of them are dumb from the offset, while some are weak and irresponsible, so much so that they cant get a jar. Some in this category offer cookies for money, others are young, insecure and ignoramuses, while a host of them just serve for the pleasure (whatever that implies).

In spite of all  the aforementioned, it is always a glorious and unique sight to see owners with brown delicious cookies deliberately and intricately stored in dark, shiny cookie jars. The lids of such jars are inevitably sealed and untouched. You just have to marvel at their grace, uniqueness and essence. As courageous as it is to keep a half-eaten cookie locked up, it takes double courage and will to resist the temptation of opening the jar before the time is right.

I really, honestly don’t think I know what it takes to keep a jar locked up. I can only seek answers from the few unique owners that I know of. The only help I can give to the legion of cookie eaters out there is the orientation on how to get jars open,  cookies tasted and how to just drop the pieces and move along if the cookie ain’t tasty. All that however will be treated in ‘THE COACH’S DIARY’ so keep calm and watch out.


Conclusively, it is easier for ugly cookie owners to keep their cookies locked up because most of the time, such cookies are undesirable; they are neither rich nor tasty. Worst still, they are devoid of milk. So, why would a standard eater bother? That brings me to the beautiful, gorgeous and unavoidable cookie owners with brown, tasty and milk-rich cookies. The exact types anyone would gladly kill for. In four words, THEY ARE SIMPLY ANGELIC!

Conversely, we couldn’t have appreciated those who have an untouched cookie in a shiny cookie jar without the presence of those who don’t have a whole cookie or those without a jar. So, their flaws are important for one thing and one thing only- to allow us appreciate the flawless..

..eaters love cookie owners with standards, get some..


3 thoughts on “COOKIES

  1. Pingback: WHAT MEN WANT | Depearl's Blog

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