.. An ‘ex’ is an ‘ex’ because it is an ‘ex’ample of who you should never date in the future..
Relationships always and inevitably end! They either end ‘badly’ or end in a consummation of the unbreakable and unalloyed love. Why they end badly or how they end in knot is a story for another day and mood.
There is no denying that at some point, at a very fantastic stage, that ‘ex’ was the most beautiful thing/person to you on the world’s surface. Yes, there was a time when we could catch a grenade for them and a sane period when we would have sworn that they were made especially and only for us. Now, after the whole love web that was spun has been broomed off, at the expense of our poor little red heart, we tend to think, ‘have I been wrong all along? Was it just a farce? What could I have done better or refrained from doing?’ Now, those reminiscing moments of regret and blames are exactly why the poor heart aches.
Never focus on the past. Live in and enjoy the now, forget about the past (but learn from it) and focus on a favourable future. The past is gone, deal with it! Why hold on to something you cannot change or have any kind of influence on whatsoever? Why trade the happiness of today for the sadness of yesterday? I know we all have different mindsets, but I still think this logic should be basic.
It is understandable that there might be periods of nostalgia and brooding, which tend to vary among individuals. Yet, I believe this period should only be reserved for deep thoughts on self-examination, evaluation and elevation. I’m tempted to chip in some ‘how to’ tips at this point but I’ll basically delay it in order to fully express my frustration on this piece. Holding on to a past relationship is actually one of the worst things you can do to your dear heart.
Yeah, they were charming, caring, sweet and all. Well, it was fun while it lasted! They eventually left. We basically leave when we think someone is not good enough for us, when we want better or when we just can’t deal anymore. Why then should you wail over someone who couldn’t see your value? Why should you spare a thought for someone who doesn’t see your true worth? If they cannot see beneath your ugliness and imperfections, then they don’t deserve you. Stand up and be counted!! Except if you honestly don’t know your own value and worth.
People who overthink and are basically nostalgic beyond the acceptable time about a failed relationship are either extremely afraid they wont find anyone better than their ‘ex’ (basically and brutally accepting that they are not worth their own weight in gold) or are erroneously and fatally afraid of starting over. They tend to always want to return to the warm (or cold) embrace of their ‘ex’. The acceptable brooding time for me is till the next dawn! Only wussies go beyond that IMO!!
I’m not against reconciliation. Infact, I believe it is a show of strength, in as much as both sides push equally for it. Yet, if it failed once, it could, in all tendency, fail again. I believe the moment one party professes it is over, then it should be done for good. No making up, just move on.
Moving on is undeniably hard, especially if you thought what you felt was real. Yet, the hardship should never be a reason to be miserable. I actually think it is a slap on the next’s face if you still find time to think about the ‘ex’. Remember, you may be at fault over the breakup, but if they left instead of working things out, then they weren’t supposed to be with you.
Conversely, one of the best things you can do for yourself is rid yourself of unprofitable relationships and respect your decision to do so. If their presence doesn’t add any value to your life then their absence won’t. It would absolutely afford you the opportunity to find value with someone else.
..love is cruel, just freeze your heart.. #icebox