“…do you think me gentle
Because I speak in praise of gentleness?
Because I honour the grace that keeps the world?
I am a man, crude as many,
Gross of speech, intolerant, angry,
Full of fits and furies!
That I may have spoken or written well at times,
Is not natural, a wonder it is!”
For some of us, replaying incidents in our heads happen involuntarily. Both divine and mundane issues keep playing non-stop in our minds long after their occurrence. It could sometimes be a heavy weight dragged uphill by the heart and mind (like active transport, expect the expenditure of ATP 🙂 ); but mostly, it is one of our primary strengths.
Analysing past issues and particularly revisiting trivial and blameworthy anecdotes can be head aching. This however is the story of my life. I seldom forget people that have had an impact on me in one way or another or events that have re-written the course of history. How? I just keep them on auto-recall!
We might have grown apart, we might not even talk or see each other anymore. However, the memories are always etched to my subconscious and moments when they auto-play on my mind, it usually always induce one of two emotions.
It is not ‘living in the past’, neither is it a way of keeping in touch with the forgone. It is just my biological mechanism of refreshing my HISTORIA VITAE and appreciating the past for what it had been. Ultimately, it is to keep me in line with the present, my divine spirit and keep my view of the future firm.
This was supposed to be about how my crown jewel has incessantly called me over the phone every morning of my days in the university; just so she could pray for me and hear my voice. I always will be very lucky to have her.
…it is never always about the inception, the conclusion has a more noteworthy ramification.