“If you don’t attain a certain level of success, responsible women can’t fall in love with you. It is not because they are materialistic or they like money, it is because they are too responsible to walk into poverty with their eyes opened.” -Anonymous

I have been drawn to these words for the better part of today. Exactly who are “responsible women” by definition?! It’s sad but truly, most Nigerian women are of this school of thought. The “he has to be rich and comfortable” school of thought.

I might sound a little bit prejudicial on this piece, bear with me and don’t take offence, I’m just a little bit appalled.


Is success synonymous to riches?

“Success is not measured in terms of money.” -Afolabi Debby.

The fact that a lady can not fall in love with a man because he hasn’t attained “a certain level of success” absolutely makes her materialistic. For some people, I guess relationships is all about the money and all they can get from it!

Is it all about the money?

What happened to loving through the thick and thorns? Why do ladies think not about “struggling” with a man? Why is it so hard to see a lady willing to start from scratch with a man? Has the love of money really taken over our entire being and existence?


“I like a man who has prospects, who isn’t afraid to take risks and isn’t lazy.” -Adewoyin Barakat.

I believe the real,Β  responsible and valuable women are willing and ready to help their men grow and succeed.

“I would struggle with my man.” -Adetunmbi Eyitomilayo.

Some or shall I say most young ladies think they put themselves in a better position by dating an “already made” man. They believe with his riches, they won’t lack for anything and more importantly, they can show off. Alas! They know not how much of a commodity they make themselves, and consequently, how cheap a commodity they are.

“Some ladies be looking for already baked cake, what happened to mixing your own dough to your desired taste?!” -Adewoyin Barakat.

No one is saying don’t fall in love or date an “already made” man. What I’m pointing out is how cheap you become by dating anyone because they are rich and already made.

Seeing, recognising, and appreciating value, potential, prospect and ambition in a man speak much more about the lady. Sadly, it is a trait not many girls possess. It is safe to say that most Nigerian ladies are all about all that glitters.

“I don’t follow guys that don’t have ambition.” -Akinpelu Qudrat.

Can’t a lady work for and earn her own money?

Going by the opening statement, it means those “responsible women” are solely dependent on their men. They are “too responsible” to walk into poverty with their eyes opened, but they ain’t responsible enough to earn their own money. These kinds of “responsible” women only fall in love with men that are able to fill their pockets… How responsible.

I was drawn to the fact that a girl’s family background sometimes has a huge influence. Now, I believe it is worse when indigence influences a lady’s decision. It goes to show how lowly and desperate she really is. Can’t a lady work hard and be successful?!

Work hard, find an ambitious guy with prospects and potentials and if you find yourself an affluent dude along the way, fine… Build an empire together. It commands respect and creates that special bond- the “me and my rib” kinda relationship. Not the “I brought you from the gutters” kind.


What do you think? Prospects or already made?Β 


25 thoughts on “PROSPECTS OR ‘ALREADY MADE’?

  1. I really enjoyed reading ds piece, kudos dude! Like I always say, I wouldn’t depend on a man’s wealth, we would rather build our empire together. Between, we are in 24th century,century of gender equality like I always say!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well, I never knew we shared the same view of that infamously famous supposed quote. Ladies have made themselves utmostly dependent on a rich man’s riches, note that, not him per se, but his riches. No lady wants to start with a man from the scratch, most of them want the ‘already made’ men, whom they can spend his money with, forget about making their own, and then truly ‘show off’. This reminds me of a famous intelligent quote, which says “a woman can make you a millionaire, only if you’re a billionaire”.

    There’s also this supposed quote which says “do not marry for money, but go to where rich people are, and marry for love”….that shii is same, although, intelligent a lil’, but then, it all revolves round the fact that, no lady wants to get married or fall in love with a broke ass but who has focus and a bright future ahead, whom they both can build an empire together, they want that cake f*cking baked.

    The saddest is, this leaves us single hustlers almost forever single, until we make it real big, because, none of those ladies out there wants to even check us out, as long as we can’t afford their braz, peruvs, loboutin shoes and bags etc…’s annoying, we also have future, we also gon make it big, like real BIG. the fact that we ain’t there doesn’t mean we ain’t ever gon get there.

    Our ladies should just please change their orientation towards this issue. Practising or being a follower or supporter of that quote makes you materialistic, leave it or LEAVE it. Victoria Beckham to a large extent started with David from the scratch, same as Dame Patience Jonathan, and lots more, look at those women now, who prolly could have ever thought they would get to where they are today?!


    Now I’m getting angry, I should just stop here.

    Nice write up man, you always making sense. I’ll cross my fingers and await some more comments roll in, especially from the supposedly accused side, our ladies.

    BTW, ma’ams, no offences please, ignore any of my write-up that might have sounded a lil’ unpleasant. Thanks.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. and this dude has done it again. . I’ve never been disappointed in him and his write up, kudos to you guy, more grease to your elbow, thumbs up darl


  4. E joor which house do I even want to take like super already made man to? My father will question your every begins @ home they say if the parents have given this ladies good orientation,they will think about the kinda dude they are bringing home. Sorry I might be diverging from the exact topic on ground,but it all balls down to the same thing. So I personally have been caught in d web of dating a money making machine,but believe me it was for the fun of it,more like a juvenile deliquence or can I say I was using him for the time being x_x Most of y’all don’t know ladies use guys too yea! I most definitely can’t take him to meet my papa or mama lai lai! Where did he get the money for that muscle his riding,when my dad can’t even ride one after over 25 years of working,hard work I mean.
    Ladies this is an eye opener, Go for the guy with prospects,I’ll go for a basic med student,dat does tailoring,is an exco both in his dept.and JCI,very rich in his own way that he can afford to make concotion rice in his room πŸ™‚ (catch your sub to whom it concerns) than go for one village Ilesa boy that isn’t eloquent but moves about in lamborghini. All I’m saying Mr Ilesa’s money will all go down the drain someday soon but the brains behind Mr basic med studt will be fetching large cash soon. Ladies let’s think well please.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lmfaoooooooo! Now, that seemed like my sub, and I think I caught it already; I finished from Physiology (a basic medical science course), I’m into tailoring, I used to be an exco in my department, both locally and nationally, then JCI, I was active before I fell out, and now to the concoction part, I made this shii that I even got hot oil splashed onto my arm some time, and Jolade knew about….yes, it’s my f*cking sub, and I caught it. Thanks honey, i’ll be waiting for the ring, and, yeah, i’ll say “yes”, definitely!! πŸ˜‰ *rotfl*.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Talk about hitting the nail on the head! This is amazing, revealing and an effective eye opener.

      Indeed, as you rightly said, the parents have got a major role to play.

      Like I said, it speaks more about the ladies and I’m glad i’m acquainted with a glorious bunch.

      Well said Jolie, well said!

      Yes, our Tailor!!! I’ll pick him over a whole bunch too!!!


  5. Ladies are generally oblivious to potential. They live for the moment, the glamour and all. Only a real woman with virtue would see beyond the present. So yeah..some the ladies would choose the dude that’s already made over the guy with better prospects. But some are wiser. A real life example is the case of a certain Funke. She met a guy who at the time was a senior manager at Shell. He gave her a car, money, first class flights overseas, turnt up weekly barbecue parties, and much more. However, he constantly gave her regrets. They broke up..,she met Mr. Right who apparently was just starting to flourish and needed the right push to scale to the top. Together, they achieved and became owners of assets worth millions of naira.. Do you think Funke would choose ‘already made’ if she should start all over again?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well said man, great input and I love the scenario.

      Looks like Funke is one lucky girl to have life serve her a second and the right chance.

      Obviously, she would be much wiser from the experience.

      Thanks again man, really appreciate.


  6. My dear….there is a kind of love you see in a guy and you cant help but want to struggle with him. It doesnt happen often but ladies, allladies feel that way once or twice. Now the first time i felt that way, i was with a total jerk who coyldnt apprevite what he had. I gave my time, love, money, efforts and all but it was futile. Then d second one is a good sincere guy, who i found out he is even im love with anothee girl and is willimg to stay away from her , watch her date other made guys, he go make money and den gobback to win her back. So whst say you?
    Everyone is materialistic. Man or woman. I say to men, work hard. If she loves you, appreciate it, it doesnt happen with every one

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hmmm. I see your point. Looks like some men have laid poor antecedents and some other sincere and ambitious, with loads of potentials and prospects are gonna have to pay for their misdeeds.

      Hmmm, I’ve been getting this “men made us so” feedbacks and indeed, some men are spoilt oranges.

      I say it’s all about individuals and their mentality, values and will.

      I appreciate this input ma’am and I’m glad you found time to grace us with your submission. Thanks.


  7. Hmmmmm. All well said, both d post and d comments. Till Jesus comes, I’m forever going wt a man wt prospects. let’s push things together. let’s hustle together. dats wat true love is all about. but mind you (men), I ll never give my heart to a man wt no purpose and direction. I can’t be married to u and be ur baby making machine. Some men get it twisted and start preaching unnecessary pitiful msgs to u just for u to accept them. and when u ask them, “wat next after I give you my heart”. u hear stuffs like “I ll look for job”. then u begin to wonder, wat next after then? they are blank, just because. they’ve yet to discover the purpose of their existence. An EMPTY man ll make life more miserable. Well, give me a man full of purpose, I ll make him my CROWN.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Pingback: I’m a Responsible Girl | Sheedart's Blog

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