COOKIES

She who controls the cookie controls the game..

There are cookies and there are cookie jars. Each jar is as strong and airtight as the owner and her resolution. A few cookies are whole and untouched, some are half-eaten while many others have been reduced to crumbs; mere, barely recognisable pieces of the cookies remain.

A jar is a jar, built to protect and restrict. A jar is always covered, mostly tightly, in accordance to its purpose. The jar is essentially a figment of the cookie owner’s strength and conviction. Some jars are opened and often left ajar by cookie eaters, in defeat of the cookie owner’s resolve and will. Some cookies are not even protected in the very least, they are served as desserts to all and every Bob.

I always appreciate owners who keep their half-eaten cookies jarred. At least, at some point, they have decided to think and act accordingly. Half-bread they say is better than puff-puff. In the very least, they will still have something to serve when the right Bob comes along at the right time. For having such courage, change of heart and strong will, I rate and respect them. It takes a strong owner to say NO after a couple of YES and to stop serving her cookie after experiencing the ecstasy and fantasy of service.

The most hilarious are those who store the crumbs that remain of their cookies in an airtight jar. Seriously?? It is not like there is anything left on offer after all. Why keep a cookie away when it is not even desirable? In this case it is even worse, because what is left is mere cookie crumbs, unrecognisable. Yet, they still have something to guard actually, which is a good thing. However late, they have realised their self-worth somewhere along the line they have resolved to hold off. They should still be able to gather enough crumbs to feed a Bob when the time is right, especially if you consider the concept of love. Better still, in this age of irrefutable technology, cookie crumbs can be successfully made whole (actually half-whole). However artificial, it will serve a good dessert if not an excellent one.

The most classless, clueless and worthless of owners are those without cookie jars. They start up with a whole cookie like everyone else but end up serving it all cluelessly and worthlessly. They inevitably end up with nothing to call theirs. Most of them are dumb from the offset, while some are weak and irresponsible, so much so that they cant get a jar. Some in this category offer cookies for money, others are young, insecure and ignoramuses, while a host of them just serve for the pleasure (whatever that implies).

In spite of all  the aforementioned, it is always a glorious and unique sight to see owners with brown delicious cookies deliberately and intricately stored in dark, shiny cookie jars. The lids of such jars are inevitably sealed and untouched. You just have to marvel at their grace, uniqueness and essence. As courageous as it is to keep a half-eaten cookie locked up, it takes double courage and will to resist the temptation of opening the jar before the time is right.

I really, honestly don’t think I know what it takes to keep a jar locked up. I can only seek answers from the few unique owners that I know of. The only help I can give to the legion of cookie eaters out there is the orientation on how to get jars open,  cookies tasted and how to just drop the pieces and move along if the cookie ain’t tasty. All that however will be treated in ‘THE COACH’S DIARY’ so keep calm and watch out.

Conclusively, it is easier for ugly cookie owners to keep their cookies locked up because most of the time, such cookies are undesirable; they are neither rich nor tasty. Worst still, they are devoid of milk. So, why would a standard eater bother? That brings me to the beautiful, gorgeous and unavoidable cookie owners with brown, tasty and milk-rich cookies. The exact types anyone would gladly kill for. In four words, THEY ARE SIMPLY ANGELIC!

Conversely, we couldn’t have appreciated those who have an untouched cookie in a shiny cookie jar without the presence of those who don’t have a whole cookie or those without a jar. So, their flaws are important for one thing and one thing only- to allow us appreciate the flawless..

..eaters love cookie owners with standards, get some..

HISTORIA VITAE MEAE Vol. 4

you are only as good as you think you are..

I used to have everything at my fingertips, I used to be the top dog. Here, I had to work for everything I earned; there was so much competition and I realised I wasn’t as bright as I originally thought..
Welcome to my early years in the university.

One of my happier days was when I eventually got to see my whole WAEC results. That year, a couple of key courses were initially ‘outstanding.’ WAEC tormented me emotionally by making sure the courses were released in tandem, days and sometimes weeks apart.

Another ecstatic day for me which rivals the aforementioned was when I got my admission letter to study biochemistry. I had put in for Medicine the previous year but despite my high score, I didn’t get admitted. I later got to know that being admitted into Medicine isn’t about your academic excellence alone, (as they often put it) ‘your legs must be pretty long too’

Yeah, I have to tell you, I actually did first semester PD before the JAMB admission list was released. Those were hugely exciting times. I was always sat at the mid-section on the far left hand side of 1500LT, beside a large TV display. I’m short-sighted, so I rely on the TV display beside me to see what the lecturer was writing on the big projector in front of the class. I still maintain, your LAUTECH days aint complete if you didn’t experience the pre-degree program.
We would leave class by 12pm and basically race to our tutorial centre, just to get a seat in front. I attended RCF tutorials back then and it was especially fun.

My 100L days were intense. I only knew a few of my departmental mates (mostly girls) and I had only one male friend in the beginning. I basically lived a triangular lifestyle- school hostel tutorials. I had to, MTH 101&102 were made out to be almighty because they were 5units courses. I can tell you the first year is the most stressful academically. Partly because you’ll want to ace all your courses and also because you are a neonate in the system.

I was unsurprisingly single throughout my first year. I decided to choose my books over gurls (although I couldn’t help teasing a number of gurls). That decision paid off in the long run especially as my department is renowned for sucking GPs. 😀

I made loads of friends instead and it was especially fun. My best mate in 100L was a die-hard Chelsea fan (I wrote ‘chelshit’ initially, freaging auto-correct kept changing it :p ); complete with a big head and a dark shining skin (the type that glows on ‘adiagbon’). Hour was also my departmental mate BTW. Only god knows how he always got to class very early. He was instrumental in me always sitting in the front rows in class though.

In my second year, with a favourable GP backing me, I freaging let loose. By now, I knew almost every lecture-attending members of my department. It was always fun sitting under the mango tree in college all day most of the time, just chatting. I miss that tree already. Come to think of it, there aint no mango tree in the new college, there isn’t even any tree whatsoever.. Dang!!

This story won’t be complete without mentioning a certain cute gurl who had caught my attention right from the very first day in 1200LT. She was always flanked by two dudes though. She seemed to hardly go anywhere without them; I never quite understood why. I never failed to let her know how beautiful she is though, so much so that an anonymous photographer took a hidden picture of me in the act.

My first two years in the university were awesome generally. Educationally, my sophomore sucked. You cannot afford to resist those college gurls.. 😡

life is too short to leave important words unsaid..

THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT.

THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT..

On a grander scale, the butterfly effect highlights
the magnitude of supposed ‘small’ details on the overall
outcome of incidents.. In most movies, it is about how a little wrong move in the past changes the future..

ANTICIPATE—» LOVING YOU-Awizzy

ANTICIPATE—» LOVING YOU-Awizzy.

OOO GAA- D’blizzie

OOO GAA- D’blizzie.

COCOS NUCIFERA- THE REVIEW

The coconut palm (also, cocoanut), Cocos nucifera, is a member of the family Arecaceae (palm family). Early Spanish explorers called it coco, which means “monkey face” because the three indentations (eyes) on the hairy nut resembles the head and face of a monkey. Nucifera means “nut-bearing.”

The coconut provides a nutritious source of meat,
juice, milk and oil. Coconut is highly nutritious and rich in fiber, vitamins, and minerals. Coconuts are different from any other fruits because they contain a large quantity of “water” and when immature they are known as tender-nuts or jelly-nuts and may be harvested for drinking. When
mature, they still contain some water and can be used as seednuts or processed to give oil from the kernel, charcoal from the hard shell and coir from the fibrous husk.

It is classified as a “functional food” because it provides many health benefits beyond its nutritional content. Coconut oil is of special interest because it possesses healing properties far beyond that of any other dietary oil and is extensively used in traditional medicine.

USES
-In traditional medicine around the world coconut is used to treat a wide variety of health problems including the following:
abscesses, asthma, baldness, bronchitis, bruises, burns, colds, constipation, cough, dropsy, dysentery, earache, fever, flu, gingivitis, gonorrhea, irregular or painful menstruation, jaundice, kidney stones, lice, malnutrition, nausea, rash, scabies, scurvy, skin infections, sore throat, swelling, syphilis, toothache, tuberculosis, tumors, typhoid, ulcers, stomach upset, weakness and wounds.

-When dried, the coconut flesh is called copra. The oil and milk derived from it are commonly used in cooking and frying; coconut oil is also widely used in soaps and cosmetics. The clear liquid coconut water within is a refreshing drink. The husks
and leaves can be used as material to make a variety of products for furnishing and decorating. It also has cultural and religious significance in many societies that use it.

-Published studies in medical journals show that coconut, in one form or another, may provide a wide range of health benefits.
Some of these are summarized below:

Kills viruses that cause influenza, herpes, measles, hepatitis C, SARS, AIDS, and other illnesses.

Kills bacteria that cause ulcers, throat infections, urinary tract infections, gum disease and cavities, pneumonia, and gonorrhea, and other diseases.

Kills fungi and yeasts that cause candidiasis, ringworm, athlete’s foot, thrush, diaper rash, and other infections.

Expels or kills tapeworms, lice, giardia, and other parasites.

Provides a nutritional source of quick energy.
Boosts energy and endurance, enhancing physical and athletic performance.

Improves digestion and absorption of other nutrients including vitamins, minerals, and amino acids.

Improves insulin secretion and utilization of blood glucose.

Relieves stress on pancreas and enzyme systems of the body.

Reduces symptoms associated with pancreatitis.

Helps relieve symptoms and reduce health risks associated with diabetes.

Reduces problems associated with malabsorption syndrome and cystic fibrosis.

Improves calcium and magnesium absorption and supports the development of strong bones and teeth.

Helps protect against osteoporosis.

Helps relieve symptoms associated with gallbladder disease.

Relieves symptoms associated with Crohn’s disease, ulcerative colitis, and stomach ulcers.

Improves digestion and bowel function.

Relieves pain and irritation caused by hemorrhoids.

Reduces inflammation.

Supports tissue healing and repair.

Supports and aids immune system function.

Helps protect the body from breast, colon, and other cancers.

Is heart healthy; improves cholesterol ratio reducing risk of heart disease.

Protects arteries from injury that causes atherosclerosis and thus protects against heart disease.

Helps prevent periodontal disease and tooth decay.

Functions as a protective antioxidant.

Helps to protect the body from harmful free radicals that promote premature aging and degenerative disease.

Does not deplete the body’s antioxidant reserves like other oils do.

Improves utilization of essential fatty acids and protects them from oxidation.

Helps relieve symptoms associated with chronic fatigue syndrome.

Relieves symptoms associated with benign prostatic hyperplasia (prostate enlargement).

Reduces epileptic seizures.

Helps protect against kidney disease and bladder infections.

Dissolves kidney stones.

Helps prevent liver disease.

Is lower in calories than all other fats.

Supports thyroid function.

Promotes loss of excess weight by increasing metabolic rate.

Is utilized by the body to produce energy in preference to being stored as body fat like other dietary fats.

Helps prevent obesity and overweight problems.

Applied topically helps to form a chemical barrier on the skin to ward of infection.

Reduces symptoms associated the psoriasis, eczema, and dermatitis.

Supports the natural chemical balance of the skin.

Softens skin and helps relieve dryness and flaking.

Prevents wrinkles, sagging skin, and age spots.

Promotes healthy looking hair and complexion.

Provides protection from damaging effects of ultraviolet radiation from the sun.

Helps control dandruff.

Does not form harmful by-products when heated to normal cooking temperature like other vegetable oils do.

Has no harmful or discomforting side effects.

Is completely non-toxic to humans.

Nutritional value per 100 g
-Energy 354 kcal (1,480 kJ)
-Carbohydrates 24.23
– Sugars 6.23
– Dietary fiber 9
-Fat 33.49
-Protein 3.33 g
-Water 47
-Thiamine (vit. B1) 0.066 mg (6%)
-Riboflavin (vit. B2) 0.02 mg (2%)
-Niacin (vit. B3) 0.54 mg (4%)
-Pantothenic acid (B5) 1.014 mg (20%)
-Vitamin B6 0.05 mg (4%)
-Vitamin C 3.3 mg (4%)
-Calcium 14 mg (1%)
-Iron 2.43 mg (19%)
-Magnesium 32 mg (9%)
-Phosphorus 113 mg (16%)
-Potassium 356 mg (8%)
-Zinc 1.1 mg (12%)

Coconut Oil
While coconut possesses many health benefits due to its fiber and nutritional content, it’s the oil that makes it a truly remarkable food and medicine. Once mistakenly believed to be unhealthy because of its high saturated fat content, it is now known that the fat in
coconut oil is a unique and different from most all other fats and possesses many health giving properties.

All fats and oils are composed of molecules called fatty acids. There are two methods of classifying fatty acids. The first is based on saturation. We have saturated fats (SFA), mono-unsaturated fats (MUFA), and poly-unsaturated fats (PUFA). Another system of classification is based on molecular
size or length of the carbon chain within each fatty acid. Fatty acids consist of long chains of carbon atoms with hydrogen atoms attached. In this system you have short-chain fatty acids (SCFA), medium-chain fatty acids (MCFA),
and long-chain fatty acids (LCFA). Coconut oil is composed predominately of medium-chain fatty acids (MCFA), also known as medium-chain triglycerides (MCT).

The vast majority of fats and oils in our diets, whether they are saturated or unsaturated or come from animals or plants, are composed of long-chain fatty acids (LCFA). Some 98 to 100% of all the fatty acids we consume are LCFA which generally take very long time to digest and are LDL (Low Density Lipoprotein) activators.

MCFA are very different from LCFA. They do not have a negative effect on cholesterol and help to protect against heart disease. MCFA help to lower the risk of both atherosclerosis and heart disease. It is primarily due to the MCFA in coconut oil that makes it so special and so beneficial.
There are only a very few good dietary sources of MCFA. By far the best sources are from coconut and palm kernel oils.

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?? START EATING COCONUT NOW!! STAY HEALTHY..

4 Reasons to Begin Writing/Filming/Recording the Story of Your Life

Anyone can write about you, but only you can write about you through your own eyes.. Inspire someone today, tell your story..

HISTORIA VITAE MEAE Vol. 3

iyán l’oúnje

Okà l’ògùn

Àìrí rárá làá jèko 

Kénu máàdúró ni ti gúgúrú

My grammatical foundation was laid in my JSS classes. I was fortunate to be guided through English language through out my secondary school days by the same stern and knowledgeable teacher. His linguistics and grammatic prowess cannot be over-emphasised. This story however is about the legion of capable yoruba teachers I had in my secondary school days.

An elegant woman first took me through the formal learning of my native language. She was tall, dark, graceful, kind and in her early 40s. She also happened to be my literature teacher. Look, she is an Ibadan descendant and as such no one can fault her for reading us the ‘tiri musisians’ in our literature classes. Actually, I happened to always choose that reading period to remember my roots too. I often, or shall I say the whole class often uncharacteristically read those two words out loud everytime. The tiri musisians, an awesome read.  

My second yoruba teacher prepared me for my junior WAEC. She was dark and beautiful too. She doesn’t believe in capital punishments. She prefers talking sense into us whenever we err and she often makes us feel understandably remorseful. She knows her trade and she taught me well; quite evident in my WAEC result. She laid my foundation in word markings (àmì). She was so good that the only Igbo guy in my class then fit put àmì ontop àròko.

To my favourite miss Adeola, how can I ever forget you? I still actually can’t fathom how a beautiful lady like her would enthusiastically study Yoruba in the university. Anyways, she was the only fair Yoruba teacher I had. She was so beautiful and she was my very first older crush. The thing was, three male teachers were publicly courting this lady. Put me in that mix and you would realise I had absolutely no chance (I was in SSS 1 BTW). Yet, I publicly experienced and felt what all three of my teachers could only secretly wish and long for- to rest their head on her delicate bosom.

Honestly, I didn’t ask for it. I couldn’t even ever have longed for it. Yet, there I was, pressed tightly against her soft, warm skin. I had just lost a quiz competition to the best grammarian in my school- my social prefect. I lost by a single point and the moderator could have given me the points I needed to win, but he didn’t because I replied ‘Nigerian Orientation Agency’ instead of ‘NATIONAL Orientation Agency.’ I found tears falling from my eyes outta anger and frustration. Then came her soothing embrace, her soft hands on my head, drawing me closer and her tender words in my ears. NO! I can’t forget that moment and that awesome lady. Long will she live in my memory.

My last teacher was a short, intelligent man though and yes, he was dark. He notably taught me ‘ifaara’ and ‘áyan ògbìfò’ and I credit him for the distinction I had in my SSCE.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind,it doesn’t matter..

MIRIFICUM

I don’t know much, but what I know, I know very well..

There are different kinds of girls. Worst still, there are numerously different modes of action and thinking levels of girls in similar groups. Simply put, girlhood is complicated.
In this assessment, I have decided to group girls into the following categories:

1- Girls who know what their significant-other wants.
1i- Girls who know and give their significant-other what he wants.
1ii- Girls who know what their significant-other wants but won’t give him.

2- Girls who do not in the very least know what their significant-other wants.

Most girls know what their significant-other wants, but the million dollar question is ‘do they readily give?’ It is one thing to know what he wants and not give him and it is another thing to not know what he wants totally. We can all agree that this is the worse group of girls ever. There is indeed no doubt that guys hold in high esteem girls who spontaneously and effortlessly decipher what they want and require in a given situation and provide them unconditionally.

PS; You need orientation and better still, see me if while at this stage your mind is centered at sex being the ‘what they want.’

Back to why this was written, I was recently treated to an all expense paid date and as much as I enjoyed myself, the experience highlighted the masculine urge and tendency to take charge and foot bills.

For the first time on a date, my wallet remained in my pocket. Simply put, it was awkward. I couldn’t help but notice the girls behind the counters steal occasional glimpses and surprised stares at me as she made payments. Being the cucumber that I am, I kept a cool, seductive smiley face. I think I even winked at one. 😉

It happens to be my best date till date not primarily because she foot the bills, but because I took a step backwards for the first time on a date and watched her take charge. I enjoyed being treated to a date but it’l take a persuasion for a second act. 😀
What better way to cap a wonderful evening than to see Johnny Depp’s ‘The Lone Ranger.’Thanks b, you rock..

HAPPY NEW MONTH FOLKS AND THANKS FOR FOLLOWING THIS ECCENTRIC MIND..